That was precisely my takeaway from this.

No, the Duggars don’t believe in contraceptives. Oh, wait - wrong kind of “protection.”

This was 2007. I’m pretty sure we can hang this firmly on Apple Maps.

McDonalds’ ad agency took entirely the wrong tack. Instead, the Hamburgler should be like Hodor in that all he EVER says is “robble.” Watch the video with the sound turned down and play “robble, robble, ROBBLE, robble” in your head.

I admit to rating my bank on the freshness of their tens, and my health care provider for having the best mammogram on the block. I guess I’m one of them now.

I just hope the dress she wore on the Graham Norton show wasn’t from her line. I was distracted during the whole show by how uncomfortable it looked.

I guess one should just assume that if a customer used a good or service, there will be an attendant Yelp review.

It’s weird how it started out on a friendly, almost conciliatory note, and then veered sharply into cray-cray. Like a sane person wrote it and left an asshole to finish it up and post it.

Half-calf for me, I get jittery on any more than that.

Cauliflower mash is fine, as long as you don’t REMOTELY pretend it’s a replacement for mashed potatoes. Cauliflower rice, on the other hand, is a pretty good rice replacement when your rice would be going under something else. Add some lime and cilantro, put it in your taco and don’t think about how much better…

Or like this

For quite some time I thought I was developing a lactose intolerance which would require my moving out of Wisconsin, but it turned out to be a gall bladder so full of stones it literally looked like a sack of gold nuggets (thanks, doctor whose name I don’t recall for keeping photos of all the gall bladders he’s…

Why are you still in Manitowoc? Dr. Dawg closed.

- Hogging the wine bottle to herself

OMG, wonderful use of Vonnegut. I may change my planned tattoo from “So it goes” to that.

Agreed

When the Guardian Angels were trying to get established in Milwaukee, I volunteered with the group as a secretary. During a pep meeting, I was behind Sliwa as he spoke, and grabbed his soda and drank a bit of it. For over 30 years I have wanted a forum in which to announce that I “slipped a sip of Sliwa’s soda”.

OMG this is EXACTLY what I was thinking when I was reading this! Maybe Mark and Allen can name the next guinea pig Hailey!

Better than Robert Durst anyway.

Our PF Chang's is next to Barnes & Noble...what is the deal?