So, if out of the blue she asks, "Were you intimate with anyone I know?" he should use the old "ASK YOUR FATHER!" response?

If it has to be remade as anything, remake it as a workout video. That would finally get my fat ass up and moving again, not even including the time it takes to collect the rice, the toast, the toilet paper...and to clean it up after.

I didn’t know but then, I just never really put any thought into it.

Just leave out Drew Magary. Just do.

Done. Thank you.

I'm so very glad that "That's not how this works! That's not how any of this works!" has worked its way into someone else's repertoire.

The only thing that makes this worse is knowing that he’s playing Michael Jackson’s “Bad” in his head while dad-dancing.

Holy shit, I'd never heard "ring by spring", only M.R.S. degree.

I never want to work food service or retail again, but I know that if I did, if I ever heard a sanctimonious jerk tell me "The customer is always right!" I'd respond, "You're right...until now" and walk away.

Thank you for reminding me of the days when I was a "flyer" at JCPenney in the late '70s and would occasionally get posted in the lingerie department. Once a week, Yellow Bra Guy would come in, politely and quietly buy a single yellow 42A bra, and leave.

Sounds like a couple of family therapy sessions might not be amiss - they’re actually probably overdue, but this latest scenario presents an opportunity everyone might be on board with. Verbally/mentally attacking you when you are completely powerless is clearly unhealthy for everyone involved. Look into getting some…

"Can you please come to the hardware store with me to get sidewalk salt? I'm not going to be able to carry it myself."

I used to get Kwik Trip milk in Wisconsin in the late 90s as well, but I happened to work in a rural community - no KTs in the Milwaukee area back then.

My dream wine is a Chateau Latour, but whose isn't? It's actually one of the first "real" wines I had when I was 17 or so and is unfortunately my wine standard. Who knew my ex-husband could make me so expensive?

I can't tell you how times my husband's had to send back a dish, because despite the fact that he and I BOTH explain that he loves avocados but has become depressingly allergic to them - even describing how his throat will close up if he has just a scoatch - it's a crapshoot if the dish will arrive with avocado.

I guess maybe it's time we let the Europeans in on The Big Secret - I know I'm risking life and limb here, but the truth was going to come out eventually.

As my daddy always told me, "You can't make yourself bigger by making somebody else smaller."

I dropped a FB friend (and then, eventually, FB itself) after I posted a pic of what was for me an unusually creative and tasty snack and he responded that it didn't have meat in it (which, prosciutto isn't meat now?) so it wasn't food.

Islet of Langerhans.

My husband named our network "FBI Van". Sorry.