Am I wrong to imagine this as one of those Downfall parodies?

I believe that would be called “fearjerking”

They are, but they smashed their Keurigs a few weeks ago.

All the Starbucks employees have to do is put the drink on the counter. No need to shout the name and if they question it...Say you did and you must not have heard.

A free and open Internet is a human right, in the current state of humanity.  If you oppose human rights than yes, it’s time to fall on your sword.

Isn’t it wonderful when people who don’t get why we need net neutrality show their ass?

Sir, all due respect, but you’re an idiot. You’re still not thinking of the little guys that will get fucked by this. 

Bart provided a handy link for you up above and pulled out some relevant info for you. Just to ensure that you see this article, I’m pasting the link in this reply to you: http://tcrn.ch/2mQ89f2

How is making ISPs give Amazon and Tiny Internet Startup equal access to their infrastructure fascism?

Here are several well-reasoned arguments why repealing Net Neutrality regulations are a bad idea:

When did Ajit Pai get a Kinja account?

If you’re not in favor of Net Neutrality, than fuck you. I mean, seriously, kill yourself. You are an enemy of humanity, and you need to just jump off the nearest fucking bridge.  I’m sorry if my words are harsh, but again, fuck you.

Also, for all that Yoda and Obi-Wan talked about fear, anger and hatred being the path to the dark side, every last sith lord we met in the first six movies was mostly the epitome of self-possessed cool, modulo maybe Vader being a little fast to hand out force chokes to subordinates.

Yeah, what’s the point of becoming a cool Jedi is you can’t use it to get chicks?

I thought they only chewed on stormtroopers, or the occasional slow biker scout.

FROM MY POINT OF VIEW IT IS THE JEDI WHO ARE EVIL!!!

Very minor spoilers follows...

The Jedi certainly would’ve worked better conceptually as a loosely-knit group of wandering warrior-monks, rather than as a government-sponsored cult that negotiates tax policy.

Snoke showed up and told him all that stuff about Vader killing the Emperor was fake news.

And a dumb Facebook called...