.... do you lose an erection in like a fraction of a second? I don’t exactly think it takes five minutes to take a piece of paper, wrap it around your willy, and then read the number on it. Maybe 15 seconds at most?

Erin was the first person who truly helped me understand how much an editor can bring out the best in a writer. She guided me and pushed me to do some of my best pieces (including the beautiful dichotomy of my Ferguson posts and my Rachel Dolezal coverage).

I promise I’ll try to keep up with the Wonkette BCO and recipe comments as much as I can, purely for you guys. By the way, all of you should tune in next Monday. There won’t be a BCO here, but I’ve got something else special planned for you all for my last day.

I pity the regular Wonkette commenters. We’re going to storm their castle going on about Pinkham’s Law and thermoses.

New friends yay! Disqus boooooo.

Plus side: no greys over on Wonkette, and I’ll be keeping an eye out for you guys!

How it actually went:

This is a relevant question. I’ll be running the Recipe Hub (this also means I will be writing recipe posts once per week. Pray for mojo) over there, so you can go there directly if you want, but anything I post will automatically jump to the homepage. Wonkette’s platform doesn’t work quite like Kinja, where things…

as an editor for jezebel dot com and a person with a reasonable understanding of public health, i too am deeply personally averse to pro-life ideology! however, i do very much value people who are straightforward and sincere (and: respectful) about what they believe, to the point of prioritizing those beliefs over…

Ha! You caught me. None of us are even literate.

Dude.

Love is letting the other person have the first line off your boner.

I want to play Ronda Rousey with your face.

That’s not how they take off moles. You have to cut them out. With a knife. Depending on the size it can leave a pretty significant scar.

why i gotta be all wet AFTER morning sex this morning and then gotta go to work all sloshy. c’mon, girl.

also bitch you’ve obviously never tried to have sex while super high on that tip top chronic no lube no sex no fun in that situation

Why? I always thought your hair smelled super nice.

And with one foot on the gas pedal at all times, and one hand - oh wait, that one’s just me.

This is a story about a magazine named lucky...

“..bought Marengo a coffee and a glazed doughnut..”

The moral of the story is, don’t run a marathon.