Not me anymore, probably.

I essentially just repeated that over and over. You didn’t miss anything.

^ That’s how it’s done, people.

Let me just get the Pinkham’s Law out of the way, because I don’t see any yet and I’m SURE it’ll happen-

ARGLE BARGLE BUT RESTAURANT MANAGERS WORK HARD TOO AND NEVER GET TIPS DID YOU KNOW RESTARANT MONAGERS CARE ONLY ABOUT THE SUCCESS OF THE RESTESRAUNT AND ARE SELFLESS ANGELS TO WORK AS HARD AS THEY DO FOR THE…

Yay! Good.

APPRECIATED

I just reflexively shuddered and whipped my hand up to my neck. TERRIBLE. Your coat betrayed you! Stupid cozy coat!

Cool. I’m just never ever going to Aruba. I'll just live, blissfully, on this giant, many legged space centipede, and pretend everything is fine.

I was going to say! It’s balls late for me, it’s basically morning for you. Get some sleep! Night!

It's just centipedes all the way down.

I just did, because I wanted to feel brave, but my internet was like, “You can’t handle this, dummy.” And just showed me pictures of worm eating Warblers instead. Like, “Here are some birds that have a similar name to what you typed. Ignore those other links. Look! Birds!” It worked. I just looked at birds and didn’t…

Yeah man. Exactly.

Hahahhahahahaohgod

I seriously, pulled my hand away and it was just smushy fuzzy stuff and wings and what’s sleep like I don’t remember?

That is cool because SCIENCE, but also now I’m terrified that some old-ass centipede is out there, just gaining legs and biding his time for... something. I don’t know what, but that old dude has plans for all those legs.

I don’t blame you, man. I would deal with awkward feelings if it meant camping. I hope you have a great time! Eat 17 s’mores for me. And then however many you want to eat for yourself.

I FEEL YOU. I’ve been wearing glasses since I was 9, and now that wearing non-prescription lenses are cool, I’m like, YOU DIDN’T EARN…

WHY DO THEY NEED ALL THOSE LEGS? I-it seems excessive. I don’t trust it.

My husband got the suction cup/slice/laser deal a few months ago and he loves it. I love the safety blanket of my glasses, and hearing him describe the process made me never ever never want to do it. I am impressed with your steely nerves.

Also, jpo! I was thinking of you this week. Hope everything went well with that…

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. I just tried to find a nope gif that would accurately convey how nope I felt about this whole situation, but nothing was good enough. I am UPSET about this. This is upsetting. I’m going to go ahead and set just, everything on fire, forever. I would never stop drinking beer.

NO I WILL NOT UPEND A MIXING BOWL OVER THIS MONSTER AND EVEN IF I WANTED TO I CAN’T, I’M NO LONGER CORPOREAL, BECAUSE OF THE WHOLE BEING A GHOST THING FAREWELLLLLLLLL