Well duh, it’s always excellent. Just a little extra pepper on it today.

Regardless of how hot it is outside, you should resist the urge to let your Ariana Grande run around shirtless. Always dress your Ariana Grandes in light layers. Babies are terrible at regulating their own temperatures.

Your gif game is CRUSHING it today.

Black dresses, beige dresses, white blouses—it’s too much to be a coincidence.

Such excellent goatee-age. My greatest regret as a lady, is that my facial hair options are so limiting. Well, not the greatest regret. The greatest is the not being able to pee off stuff thing. But the no cool mustaches thing ranks high.

AWESOME. This is way helpful. I'm just going to give it a go. I'm not afraid of a little bit of mess, but I don't want to go full Carrie just for the sake of having a reusable period catcher. THANK you!! Much helpful.

I am pro both nicknames AND naps. Especially necessary Yom Kippur naps.

Randi, you doll, I missed your presence today. Hope you had an easy fast!

Awesome. That’s a great suggestion, I’ll give the disposable ones a try and give a look into FemmyCycle! Thank you!

“Correct, judge, my client Steven Felton is innocent. We maintain that it was his twin... Bleeven.. Belton. Yes, they have different last names. It’s fine. He’s evil.”

Tell me information about cups. I was going to get one and looked it up online and got just, overwhelmed with information and gave up. There are one million different cups with handles and nubs and loops and rocket attachments and things. Also, I am a... generous bleeder and I feel like it would be a majorly messy…

I super love this. I super-plus love this. This news just... it gives me wings.

“It’s not too late for the students to find their gifts”

Yes. This. Hope you had an easy fast as well! G’mar Tov.

This is the funniest thing you’ve ever said (which is saying a lot) and I want to give you a high five or a hug or some tangible expression of my deep appreciation for this joke but all I have is this turtle gif. Enjoy this turtle gif.

It’s a great one. I’ve been burning a lot of “Hot Salami Trashcan” lately.

New, from Yankee Candles ‘Bleak af’ line! Try our other scents:

I mean, it makes sense. I’d eat the fuck out of it too, tbh.

I mean, it really happened, but yes. Yes I did.

Jesus Christ with the “margarine not butter people”. Listen- I get it. You care about the purity of butter and dare not tarnish the name of butter by applying it to vegan whatever. Butter, margarine, you could call it Liam Helmsworth Cock Spread for all I care. Regardless of what it “actually” is, I guarantee you the…