Thank you! He is the best. Also, I would like one million more pictures of your bunny wearing clothes, please.

I am CRAZY impressed with you rn.

I don’t blame you for feeling weird. It’s very scary and weird.
I’m excited for your new potential furry friend! What kind?

I had never used it to baste anything in my life, but then my husband needed something to suck brake fluid out while fixing his car and now he has a cool new car tool.

Ooo good! I’m excited. I just watched the first one a couple days ago and it made me hope that the second was going to be good. It’s dark and sad and I can’t wait.

You guys! I read Ready Player One yesterday, and, well...

This sounds like something straight out of Reefer Madness. But instead of being hokey and funny, it’s just very very sad. I feel awful for those kids.

Correct.

Oh cool. I feel very cool about this.

I misread what you wrote and saw “Livin’ La Vida Loca” and was like

“I approached them calmly while yelling and banging pots and pans.”

Not wrong. So, so right. What good is slipping in your own blowjob induced vomit and pee if you can’t laugh at it and then tell lots of other people on Jezebel so they can laugh at it?

The fact that she had to mention that she “walked up to them calmly” means that she either-A) Did not walk up to them calmly or B) Feels like walking up to a gay couple calmly is something worth mentioning or C) Eat a bag of butts, lady.

Tiny marshmallow papal hats.

Perseverance, my friend.

Oh man, I am having the BEST time reading those peeing stories.

A+ username.

I live in the SF bay area and I just found out Door Dash will bring me beer and wine and hard alcohol from the local liquor store and also I’m dead now.

THIS IS EVERYTHING.