<3 Welcome to the next hour of your life: http://edithwithgooglyeyes.tumblr.com/

Get it.

His wrist has got to be so sweaty under there.

Same. My taste buds are on board, but my stupid sensitive baby mouth ruins everything.

There are no words I can say that these gifs don’t say for me.

<3 <3 <3

DEAL. But I will bring TWO bottles, because whisky.

Chronic illness sucks, but I’m glad it seems like you’re handling the fuck out of it. Also I read on another post that you make pierogis and can I interest you in an overnight guest* that will eat all your pierogis and get moderately drunk and sleep on your couch?

*Me. It’s me, let me eat your pierogis.

I’m so sorry! That sounds just terrible.

Jason Segel gained 40 lbs. by eating two Hot Pockets every three hours, i.e. THE JEZEBEL SPECIAL.

I can’t decide if I want them to adopt me or have sex with me.

There is just no way it’s this good. Netflix is harvesting souls. That seems far more reasonable than investing in your employees to increase morale and job satisfaction to ultimately provide net benefit to your company. That would be crazy. Save your souls everyone, the end is very obviously nigh.

Exercise a ton as a teenager, but stop immediately in my 20’s and also take up a hearty wine and cheese habit, still live forever. Got it. Thanks, science!

NO. Don’t tell me what to dooooooo. #teamplasticbacks

Or, she’s making a joke and she, like most women, is probably familiar with the dynamics of violation and sexual assault? I don’t think she literally believes people don’t know where to find images of naked people and that they would purchase a $1,700 camera because they are so desperate to see naked bodies but they…

Non-consensual skull fucking! Tell your friends!

This might get lost in the sea of SNS posts, but I’m really excited about something and am hoping to get good vibes my way. I’ve talked before about the myriad jobs I do, but one of the most important ones to me, is writing sketch comedy. I’m in a fairly successful group and we write a new show once a month. The lady…

<33333

Yeeessss! Ev-er-y-thing. I adore you and all the words you say. Jumping in to the Jez community was one of the best choices I’ve made on the internet. I got ungreyed on kitchenette today, and I feel like I won the goddamn lottery. Stars everywhere! Stars for all!