DUH you can come! Bring extra wine.

Me too, man. Are we too old to start fan clubs? Like maybe one for grown ups that love her? Already Bloomed for Blume? The Late Blume-ers? Judy-Come Latelys? I feel like there’s something there. What I’m saying is I want to sit in a circle and read Judy Blume books out loud while drinking a lot of wine.

Holy crap, I'm ungreyed! Monogrammed thermoses for everybody!!

But if we pay fast food service workers a fair living wage, that’s like admitting that they’re people with thoughts and feelings and needs rather than grease robots that make quick-meat for my food hole. Next you'll be telling me that I have to tip waitstaff and stop yelling at the hostess when I show up without a…

Animal fries tho. #notallsecretmenus #jkeverythingisawful

Awesome. I’ll do a spiral hairwrap braid in your favorite colors and then I’ll stay on watch while you make out with cute Bobby from cabin 12.

Oh god. I used to go to church camp and my name is Cassie and I’ve never bullied someone in my life, but nonetheless, I am filled with some dread that I have suppressed a terrible bullying memory. I’m so sorry she (probably not me oh god) did that to you and on behalf of all church camp Cassies, I apologize and do you…

Me too! See also: Hold me closer, Tony Danza.

Wait up, I’ll go with you.

Draw-string jeans, why the fuck wouldn’t I?!

Bucket hats and platform sandals defy the constraints of age-appropriateness how dare you.

It’s upsetting.

These days, Miranda Lambert is living off “caffeine and sad songs.”

It’s just so relatable.

Oh god. When you are secret high and someone says their sad feelings at you is a terrible time. Like, yeah, buddy, I am so sorry that you are sad but I just can’t because I’m trying to listen but also I’m imagining what kinds of jokes this sandwich would tell and I’m coming up with really good ham puns.

“It’s a graphic that we worked with the Senate Democratic leadership to put together...”

This is definitely the beginning to a horror movie where Darrell Hammond as the Colonel appears in every photo, right behind you, just before you are murdered by Darrell Hammond as the Colonel.

There’s a great podcast called Oh No, Ross and Carrie, where they try new-age cures, cults, obscure religions, and examines them from a mostly-scientific perspective. (Their immersive, join-a-movement episodes like when they attended a exorcism seminar are the most interesting). They just did an episode on cryotherapy…

As a ginge, I am delighted by your infatuation. Totally not weird. It’s like being into blue eyes or a great bum! I appreciate your appreciation.

Right now my 4 year old’s favorite show is Bill Nye the Science Guy, so I am looking forward to a lifetime of cool songs about earth sciences and cameos by famous 90’s celebrities. Yes, of course I’m interpreting the study correctly how dare you.

SHE ALSO DRESSES AS A CLOWN FOR FUN AND WEARS UPSETTING EYELINER I WISH I WERE, ADULTOSAUR, I WISH I WERE.