Thank you for teaching me that the clear noodles in the frozen egg rolls are vermicelli noodles and not gelatin filler. The first time I ever saw them was the last time I ever bought frozen egg rolls, but I feel better about maybe trying them again now. 

I’m really curious about whether this is the result of the process of vaping or the ingredients in liquids. I’ve made some THC distillates, so I know exactly which two ingredients are in there, but if one of them is deadly... I’d kinda like to know. Soon.

Imagine being the guy at a testing lab that tests a fast food chain burger patty and has to notify somebody that the results come back as ketchup, mustard, and human.

I’ve been seeing ads for these leggings with thigh pockets for months. Tami just got somebody to print out some vaguely “patriotic” patterns and slap her name on them. Carrywear my ass.

I wish I hadn’t read this while brainstorming a short story about a security specialist.

Every few months, our family acquires another item that needs to be charged on a daily basis. I can’t leave the house without the ability to charge six things at the same time and heaven forbid they’re all plugged into the same wall outlet, no we need at least 3 plugs so everyone can go their separate ways while…

I wonder how many people are going to break their windows tomorrow and try to sue for upgrades.

I’m on Audible’s side on this one, even though I think the feature is stupid. The publisher is getting their cut one way or the other. You can’t get the captions without buying a copy of the book and you can’t keep the captions. Did the publishing companies have any problem with Kindle’s text-to-speech thing? I don’t…

I thought he was saying “I’m going quickly through the grocery store before the kid has a meltdown (as kids do in grocery stores) so I’m just gonna grab the thing that says meat and has a cow on it, assuming it is meat.”

Looking back on it all, I’d say don’t bother.

Missed opportunity to make a “once you go black” joke, self.

IT’S
COLLEGE
FOOTBALL
Y’ALL

6 seasons before I realized I didn’t like it, but then I kept going for 2 more in the hope that it would become an acquired taste.

I hope this, or whatever he does next, can wash the bad taste of Jon Snow out of my mouth.

He’s taking the black again?

When I read “Safe Ride Fee” I thought it meant like “Your driver gets an extra dollar if they promise not to hurt you.” The reality of it doesn’t sound much better.

I will die firmly believing that Pinterest is a direct result of the Great Recession and the DIY attitude it created in so many of the newly unemployed and bored. Imagine what crafty paper towel tube projects and complicated mini desserts we’ll discover this time around.

A
SPORTS
WELLNESS
SITE

I do this with lip balm - I always have at least one unopened Maybelline Baby Lips in Cherry Me at all times and when I’m at the end of one tube, I buy two more. I love me a sheer tint.

Has anyone bothered asking if these bajillionaires have been offsetting their carbon imprint? I mean, I feel like the royal family can buy carbon credits if they want. Nobody is outraged over CEOs using private jets to cross the country on a weekly basis because their company purchased carbon credits. And also nobody…