Imagine if you’re a Vikings fan. Three years ago you thought you had the team to win it all. You had a ridiculous defense and an up-and-coming star at quarterback. Everything changes during one practice, forever altering the franchise. You lose said quarterback to a freak injury; one that almost costed him a limb. You…

In defense of the Cowboys (and the rest of the NFL)...

NFL: here is a bajillion dollars. All you have to do is not be a despicable moron for few years, we good?

You mean the jackass deadspin rushed to valiantly defend against incompetent GMs, saying he just needed an organization who would let AB be AB. That aged as well as a magary chili fart casserole.

I’m starting to think there’s something wrong with this guy. 

Well, Nobu is sort of a chain. There’s one in New York, one in Vegas. Maybe more? I get why someone in NYC would write “the Nobu in Malibu” as opposed to the one in NYC. 

For some reason, my favorite part of the story is that in the middle of the biggest day of Clippers history, Doc was on his way to Nobu Malibu.

This video and being in a Walmart on a Saturday are two very good reminders of why I never want to bring children into this godforsaken world.

Vázquez then told police that he and the victim had “sex but not really.”

That is 100% the QB’s fault.

I think I could get further in the city naked rather than in the suburbs. There’s like 30 people shot in Chicago every day, car jackings, muggings, other naked crazies furiously swinging their dick back and forth so it hits their thighs making a slapping noise, for them to worry about you. You get a somewhat crowded…

LOL, do you think Lin’s mom sometimes looks at him and asks him when he’s gonna do something with his life ?

Because fuck Aubrey, that's why.

Because Carmelo Anthony is a delusion diva and James Dolan is a fucking idiot.

The fact that Steve Ballmer isn’t consistently soaking-wet is incredible.

He’s right about people in general, not just golfers. They don’t think ahead while in line. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in a TSA security line and half the people walk up to the podium and only then start pulling out their ID and boarding pass. Or they don’t get out the credit card at the store until all…

Yeah but did you see how fucking high he jumped?!?

This guy sure does get tired of his team quickly. Bored man gets paid indeed.

I mean, come on, man. . . He’s been in the league for seven years and has no history of dirty play. He was contrite in the immediate aftermath of the play, during post-game interviews, and on twitter. He said he made a split-second decision to slide towards the inside, that decision ended up being wrong, and he feels…

I’m sorry, arrogant Americans? In what universe? Americans are the classiest, most dignified, and humble people on the planet!