Hey, c’mon now, it’s only 322 nights without hockey. We get two playoff games a year, too...

I figure Rocky’s Best Picture Oscar is at least three-quarters Stallone’s. So he’s got most of one already.

As I understand it, Enos is paying for it (for now, anyway; who knows what kind of concessions he’ll squeeze out of Inglewood before it’s done). Ultimately the entire NFL will pay for it, since one other team and possibly many NFL offices will be his tenants. And, of course, he’ll have a Super Bowl there five minutes…

We’ve had a while to prepare these contingency plans.

I realize you died to bring me this information, and I appreciate the sacrifice. It’s a losing proposition, of course. Frankly, though, at this point flinging every ounce of legal shit we can load in the trebuchet at Kroenke and the NFL, out of nothing more than sheer bloody-mindedness, is very appealing indeed.

Probably best to evacuate the press before the cumshots start.

*3-5

I would like to see a prospectus of your goods, kind sir.

I get that—and I really don’t particularly relish dissing Inglewood. It’s just that StL is trying to do exactly the same things as Inglewood and other LA satellites are, and not only did ol’ Enos ditch us for an area with similar economic circumstances, he had to go and bundle up a pack of lies and arbitrary…

Just need to broaden your notions of approved fucking implements. Popular choices in this case may include:

I come by my Packers fandom honestly. Now it has not even the slight competition the Rams once provided.

Oughta sue Kroenke for it. Any legal basis? Probably not, but get it before 12 St. Louis jurors and Enos will be lucky if he still has any bones left afterward.

And blazing into the hot neighborhood of the moment: Inglewood! The Camden of the Pacific!

Stan, for sure, he has to leave behind. He can keep Enos, a name both cacophonous and held by a guy who maybe probably was a big racist.

Dear Enos,

Not true. The over-time payout is an annuity, but the entire basis (plus accrued yield to date) is yours and is disposed of by your estate (not your home state) however you see fit to declare in your will. Your heirs can even cancel the annuity structure and take the remaining basis (and whatever else happens to be in…

Jesus Haywoody Christ, Sean Penn, you have made me agree with Marco Rubio about something. NOT. COOL.

Every time Sean Penn does a thing, I get a sharp, painful twinge in my Y chromosome. Seriously, dude, you’re embarrassing us.

Generally I side with officials, but damn if they aren’t having a craptacular year across the board. This game was no exception.