2nded (I do have some of the limited editions—including this one soon—and they are the nicest things I own).

Well, yeah, but that’s just built into the economy-class penalty. Armrest wrestling, seat-reclining jihad, and infectious-disease bingo are all part of the fun!

1) On American, anyway, WiFi used to stream the in-flight entertainment is free; there’s only a fee if you want the big internet as well.

Even the bones of Billy Sherman provide for the brutal smackination of Atlanta. Wild.

Yeah, my rule is: if you’re putting me in a helicopter, I’d better be dying without the ride, because there’s an unacceptably high risk of me dying with the ride.

I just do not understand people sometimes. I mean, OK, if someone you’ve known for a long time presented as one gender for most of that time and then changes, it can be tough to fully grok the change at first, decent people will slip up, and decent people will forgive honest mistakes.

You’re in good company; pretty sure Brett Hull has been both drunk and singing (well, “singing”) Gloria since they vaudeville-hooked him off the victory rally stage.

I know no one who can walk a straight line stone-cold sober as consistently as Biles does airshow tricks. The equilibrium is just unreal.

The passports are the least strange part of this. Having multiple passports (as long as they’re for the same identity) is perfectly normal, and in this case the most likely scenario is that she had an expired passport containing her unexpired U.S. visa (they’re usually good for ten years, in which case they’ll always…

They keep the immigration record on file indefinitely, yes, but they stop updating it after the subject is naturalized. They really don’t have the legal authority or, frankly, the wherewithal to keep tabs on everybody forever.

Seeing as you’re already naturalized, they no longer care. The checks are done when you apply for naturalization, not after you’ve completed it.

Oooookay let’s just be cool little Fonzies here. You have not interpreted this correctly. Believe me, DHS does not have the inclination or the resources to trace everyone forever.

If you’re gonna commit a series of major flag-code violations, better to make them MAJOR flag-code violations, I guess.

My premise was principally “make a glib internet joke,” in point of fact.

More likely than “too much porn” does not mean objectively likely.

Yesh, but, I mean ... have you LOOKED at humanity lately? Something done fucked us all the way up—though “not enough porn” is by far a more likely culprit than “too much porn.”

Eh, this is all pretty standard. Obama’s first ambassador to the U.K. was very proud of his 1982 World Series ring (he was Gussie Busch’s lawyer and on the board of the Cardinals). Not a bad guy but that’s hardly a qualification.

Oh, HELL to the no on the facial recognition system. What possible benefit does this offer over TouchID?

I have precheck rights from a few different sources: Global Entry, which cost me $100, and a top-secret clearance, which cost the taxpayer God knows how much.

Having flown JAL first class, I’m now spoiled for business class.