Here’s some studio chump’s wish, fulfilled...

Well that’s no reason for his soul to be uncomfortable

I’m glad Bivens referenced him in the post and how they will stick together.

Our department will continue to make further inquiries into Sargent’s suitability for Wonderteenhood, and any future updates on his status will be communicated in a timely fashion.

It’s amazing how far you can push the human body when you don’t have a soul.

LOL no one in this comment thread has had shit to say to you.

Yes.

In other words, she’s a leaker!

Jeremy Lin hereby requests that you stop rubbing it in.

It’s nice to imagine Roxane settling into her favorite spot on the couch, sighing out her disappointment over today’s unfortunate social media stir, taking a big sip of coffee, and flipping the television over to the first inning of the Cardinals-Brewers game.

MANTOES: The Retchmaker!

Haha, Magary has to rewrite two paragraphs and select four different reader e-mails now. Looks like BIG RETIREMENT got you by the strictly-for-show ballsack, buddy!

You’ll flee to New Zealand if you...
[checks notes]
...impregnate your wife?

I’m glad Tim Tebow was able to clear his schedule for this broadcast.

I know you know this, but just in case some folks need educating: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oliver_Luck

Well, it’s like we say in ol’ New England:

We could also not mock the child at a baseball game, and not roast his happiness.

Wow, according to this ad, he seems like the complete package.

Damn, that google image search is really something.

You know the rules: