First time on Amtrak? Why yes, you absolutely should choose one of the least compelling routes, at one of the least compelling times of year! And make sure you bring along nothing for yourself to eat or drink for the duration of the trip. Jesus, man.

Barry Petchesky is Taking You Into The Weekend with Shame and Self-Loathing.

I stand erected.

Also worth noting they all schooled her in English, too, so I guess that means Nikki is going to talk smack about Finnish education sometime soon.

I’m pretty sure that we haven’t seen a more analogous upskirt-ish picture, and for a very good reason: although they definitely exist, they were never published, because they were a bit much. The picture of Harris is a bit much. Yeah, everyone should have been a grownup about this, and I agree that the decision to…

I went to Daisuke Matsuzaka’s Fenway Park debut for the Red Sox in April 2007. His first start had been against the Royals in Kansas City, where he was lights-out, so everyone wanted to see how he’d do at home.

It turns out they’ve been in pretty dire straits for a few years now.

Completely gobsmacked by the term “1/2 Time.”

Yeah fuck this guy ALLLLL the way. “Everyone loves my kid! None of the people attending college on an athletic scholarship awarded at my discretion have told me anything other than how great my son is and how glad they are to see him in the locker room, on the bus, in practice, and at press conferences!” 

I had the same thought. He’s putting together a really impressive career in an era that doesn’t prioritize his talents. It’s remarkable how hard it is to notice excellence when it departs from the main narrative.

That Livingston is mine now, chhuuuuuummmmmmp.

This seemed like more of a Chuck Berry kind of breakfast, to be honest.

Clemons is an unholy cross between Isaiah Thomas and James Harden,

the assistant coach hadn’t remembered to bring an extra uniform like we normally did.

traveling in his Tiffin Motor Home with wife and loyal fur buddy Hank.

Right, right.

Jesus that hurts.

The boy with the dull-eyed stare pointing at Waldo always cracked me up.

My suggestion is “That’s one for the cock, Tommy!” But maybe that’s more of a Herald thing.

“Sure.”