For the first time since 1662, a Pascal you can wager on.

His honesty about pissing himself is refreshing.

Big, if poo.

Heroes (Briefly) Among Us.

CONMEBOL [derisively]: Suck on my balls!

Shaking with neither laughter nor rage.

HE WORE SHORTS!!!11!1!1

What a fascinating product. I’ll have to keep one-eye out for it.

Hey now, I [wish to throttle dozens of people who] resemble that remark!

Which means we NEED the Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz!

Gritty’s 330 pounds? Any other mascots have known measurements?

INSIDER

Honestly, I think his just getting his jollies with some of 1983's finest. Women know what they want by 35.

I don’t know where you guys got the audio of my wedding night, but this is extremely rude and I expected better of you since the Hogan case was decided.

“I saw something furry in the pile of garbage and looked down wondering if someone had thrown away something fancy; it was a rat in a shoe.”

Jokic got shafted here.

“Yogi stood only 5’7”, and he’s one of only four 20th century players that height or shorter who hit more than 100 career home runs in the majors.”

My hard bid to get out of the grays:

there are a decent number of cities that, if not crying out to be filled with a team like Washington, D.C. Willie Roaf’s ex-wife was for so many years

Favorite Sidney Morgenbesser quote? “Yeah, yeah.”