Only the best food. Unless you have Celiac disorder.

Whatever happened to being your own Instacart?

While Kobe left his pudding in Eagle, Colo.

Life is Hell.

Upvoted for candy corn.

I will wait for Burger King to start selling the Japanese burger alternative made from poop.

Ocean’s 14 writes itself. 

MC Hammer uses the second person personal.

Wrong reply.

Saw my first dogfights on the streets of Deva, Romania. Two stray dogs converge on the piata, one dog leaves.

That ending is like if Pavement were black.

Junior Bridgeman did nothing wrong.

Dollar Tree is good. 

At least Kool got the Roots (well before they became Fallon's houseband) to shill for them.

Bada bada bing for the lad’s nite

If the war came along, I'd be on the frontline with 'em.

Tell me if that bothers ye.

Caron Butler not moving while Agent 0 & Jarvaris Crittenden draw guns comes to mind. 

The photo is actually archival material from Drew’s study abroad in England in 1995. Chris is reading an SMS on an early flipphone.

Geezers need excitement. If their lives don’t provide it, they’ll incite violence. Common sense, simple common sense.