Remember a time when having space in a pantry was normal and you could just dump anything anywhere? I used to keep an electric screwdriver in my pantry, now I have to keep shelf-stable pantry items on the floor by my dining table as they wait for space to nestle in. I keep a crazy-person list of what’s in what…

1 This looks like the pantry of every 24 year old male.

About 15 years ago, when I worked at CVS, I used to get so annoyed putting weekly sales tags up, doing price changes, etc. and I asked myself “why hasn’t anyone completely digitized this?”

Okay this isn’t an invention or million dollar idea but since we’re on the topic of things like peanut butter jars, I’d like to bring up the issue of chips and salsa. 92% of all salsa is eaten right out of the jar, yet for some reason almost every jar has a mouth that is at least slightly too narrow to easily get a…

I do this with bags of frozen vegetables. They’re about a dollar to two each and serve multiple meals.

Alcoholics anonymous anonymous. Are you an alcoholic who is off the sauce but desperate for a bender? Is that stupid group responsibility guilt keeping you from the drink you crave? Come to alcoholics anonymous anonymous, and we’ll wean you off those meetings and have you off the wagon in short order.

Bubble wrap with scented air pockets

FUN FACT!

Heated umbrellas.

You would become instantly the wealthiest and most reviled inventor in the world...

I envision this as working like the old boil-in-bag dinners. (Yes, I’m old enough to remember those.) I think that might work better than boiling it in with the noodles.

Ramen boosters. Bonus: rather appropriate to the current climate.

Peanut butter chicken.

I think TiVo came up with that. Back when I watched cable I was able to set a recording over my home network.

Comcast thought of that. their app would let you look up TV listings on your phone, then you could tap “record” and their system would send out the command to your DVR to record that show.

Feed mayonnaise to the tuna fish!

Here’s my idea: You want to record a TV show but forgot to set your VCR. You pick up a phone wherever you are, dial you home number. By pushing a series of numbers (you must have a touch tone phone) you connect to your VCR and program the start time, end time, and channel of the show you want to record.

Torturing Bam with snakes makes a comeback in 3D.

Still better than Avatar.