“a beach house, travel, dining, and spending on adult men...”

Luckily I have my biscuit head to keep me warm in the meantime:

The local Popeye’s here didn’t tell customers they sold out of the chicken they use for the sandwiches, so they put 2 chicken tenders in the bun and tried passing it off as the same thing. Really shitty move. 

Sandwich?! I’m over here still waiting in line for my emotional support chicken! (You can’t even get these on eBay anymore...)

how’d you get Sir Mix-a-Lot’s browser history

Fuuuuuck I want that Halloumi McMuffin.

The Czechs are very into a sandwich consisting of a fried hunk of breaded cheese topped with tartar sauce. I’d like to say it’s good, but unfortunately the cheese they tend to use is so bland that it doesn’t really end up tasting like anything but tartar sauce. Czech McDonald’s offers it as a “McSmazak.” It’s fine.

“5 people fired”

Listening to “Baby Shark” makes me want to become Death and destroy everything. Let me know when that version comes out.

Because it IS vegetarian. The only way it is not is that it’s cooked on the same grill. But if your goal is to not contribute to killing animals, it achieves that goal. I know many vegetarians who are fine with that because their goal isn’t to be sanctimonious, but realistic. In addition, they’re insanely better for…

Yeah, based on my experience with Impossible Burgers, I thought the Whopper matchup would work really well. The Whopper is cooked medium-well/well (similar to the requirements for Impossible), doesn’t have a pronounced flavor profile, and has a similar texture to Impossible. Should be a good fit.

Kevin, what was the…

Let me guess. You didn’t mind finding a box of raisins in your stash of Halloween candy.

Great idea! We’ll scatter the bullets around the dining area and the dumb birds will be too distracted by their shininess to go after our food!

“Subway embraces faux-meat”

The word ‘assault’ is functionally meaningless so let’s get specific.
In this particular case the word describes the victim being savagely beaten by two men (Rocky and his security guard) with beer bottles, then after he was on the floor they continued kicking him and smashed the back of his head with a bottle. The…

Swedish jails are heartless. They make you assemble your own furniture.

“What, you mean other democratic countries don’t allow judges to be told what to do by a politician?”

OK so let McD open a franchise in the ruins only if they sell something legitimately Roman. A loaf of bread with garum and a glass of wine sweetened with lead sugar. :)

I’ve actually, for real, no kidding, heard someone, a grown-ass adult, lament out loud and with a genuine degree of frustration that there was no McDonald’s among the ruins of Chichen Itza.

The Impossible Burger I tried at the bar/restaurant near me tasted a lot like a Whopper already (or at least how I remember a Whopper tasting), so this seems like a perfect fit. And since it will likely cost less than I payed the last time I tried it, this may get me into a Burger King for the first time in at least a…