#Scandoval makes life worth living

IT’S A HOTDISH

My order went to the wrong address two blocks away.  I expected that this would be a disaster and it was!  

The reason you don’t cook fish in the microwave is because IT SMELLS.  I’ll bet you’re one of those monsters who reheats fish in the office microwave AREN’T YOU

As a vegetarian I can say this is fucking stupid.

I saw a woman eating ice cream out of a bucket with her face on the subway.

Well Christians don’t follow the rules of the bible so....

I’ve found that I have to specify I want a round egg when I’m ordering a McMuffin without meat.  For some reason the meat free default is the folded egg.   

Apparently my entire life has had too much coffee based on the listed symptoms.  

The noise the egg thing makes is terrifying 

But who will buy all the cocaine now!!!

I’m here to tell you that Rush does, indeed, suck

Aioli is just Donkey Sauce

I think we can all agree that the internet is bad at this point.

Natty Ice doesn’t want you to to sully its good name with sexual assault in its COVID trailer.

Don’t worry Batman, you’ll never be rich

I’m still watching Maury so...

This is why I mail all of my shipments to Mr. Definitely Not Drugs.

You’re a monster.  

Anyone who sells vitamins is a dickhead.