Al Franken is a grown ass man and fancies himself to be a comedian so the photo alone is enough for him to resign because as a grown ass man he should know that taking a picture of a sleeping colleague and pretending to feel her up is highly inappropriate and as a comedian he should know it is highly unfunny. He…

Hopefully the thieves have teenagers in the house who will in turn steal the booze and mix it all together in some sort of “shit mix” to ensure it doesn’t go to waste.

Correct

It’s probably best that guy doesn’t have a DNC endorsement behind him in Alabama. Because it’s Alabama. Alabama.

Guy on internet complains that women IRL never show him their boobs but then gets mad when they show him boobs on the internet, which is the thing the internet was created for, so guys like him can see boobs.

Also yep.

Yep

Quaaludes did.

Tom Hanks has already had a young boy enter him against his will at a carnival and filmed the entire episode in the 80s.

Are you suggesting that deadspin is the NY Times?

And if you don’t believe the government should provide you with healthcare, you shouldn’t use that healthcare to see a doctor after some dude you pissed off by being a total fucking dick tackles you. AMIRITE!!!

What a fucking whiney little bitch.

I find sexy goldfish both sexy and acceptable.

Maybe we don’t want to marry.

By removing a plaque commemorating being on the losing side of a war against the United States of America, the Real Americans of this shithole town in a shithole state feel that their shitty town is now shittier. Bring back the plaque!

A boat is a floating car.

Well now that there’s cannibalism I’m in!

Please stop making Melania do stuff.

Fine. I’ll ask you, a person who sees movies, as me, a person who doesn’t see movies, why is the Internet talking about this movie? What is it about? What is so shocking about it? I don’t understand