I feel you. I was once asked to leave the go-kart track at Adventure Land because of aggressive driving. I am a grown-ass woman. The other people on the track were mostly children.

I’m a pretty mild mannered person most of the time, but I’ll be damned if I don’t lose my shit every time I make a mistake while playing tennis. There once was a time that I was planning on buying a new racket, so I figured that I would take out my frustration on my soon-to-be old racket. Oh man, that was satisfying.…

“Lady stabs four children to death; officials speculate that it may have something to do with the fact that they were related to her.”

I want to put a smiley face sign in my window that indicates me as a emergency, respite child care mom. You? Go take a shower by yourself. Walk through a quiet library. Me? I’ll feed your kid muffins and have them run in the back yard until they are too tired to sass.

$100 grand seems too low of an amount to sue for considering they slammed a girl suffering from brain tumors head to the ground. Here’s a photo of her during arrest:

$100,000 has never seemed like such a small number. A pittance for what happened.

I think he’s saying that she looked like a Normal and isn’t it sad she felt pressured to become a Beautiful, but really she was cheating by using a scalpel and got what she deserved. Of course she was not a Normal to begin with, and whatever “revolutionary” fantasies he had about her being attainable for dudes like…

What’s an Argyle Eggfart?

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?

My mother taught me to always be humble

You know that Lindsay Lohan is doing OK because she returned to having red hair. It’s the barometer of ginger well being.

Have you ever heard of flour weevils? I hadn’t either...until I had. :(

If the FDA would like to recommend a better way to eat my feelings I’d love to hear it.

Thank you! I actually made this face when I saw Gary referred to as just “her dog”

That is the face I make when I chose the salad instead of the soup. All iceberg lettuce and a still green tomato, what? It was chicken tortilla soup? Dammit...

Just watch Xena. It was the better of the two.

Sigh. Root for Hera!

It helps if you’re stoned, 23, you don’t have cable, and it’s 1996.

In related news, Iaolus advocated in favor of Sparta leaving the Aechaen League, which succeeded courtesy of its cutesy name “Sparxit.”

This is all bullshit and I’m glad she will get a dress and I love her and everything about her.