ALL YOU HATERS CAN GO DIE IN A FIRE PLZKTHNXBYE.
I love Britney, everything she does is gold. >:(
EVERYTHING.

Do You Want To Listen To Britney Spears’ Leaked ‘Tom’s Diner’ Cover?

Plus you can shove the tortillas up your ass.

Indiana is now District 9.

I like your style.

Maybe? I'm hearing you but I think I'm aged out of whatever Miley is doing. I don't mean that in a 'these damn millennials need to get off my lawn' way, but that whole mega slutty (and I'm not using slut as a derogatory so much as connotative term here) is DEFINITELY a thing.

My god it's been years since I've had a hot dog. I guess you decided what I'm having for dinner tonight, with Chili and mustard

She needs to rent a flat above a shop.

"Well, yeah, you've gotta lock that down," said Jason Bateman, encouraging friend Dax Shepard to propose to Kristen Bell.

I was stupid and childish

I'm the Tom Brady of assholes- you can never count me out and always have to factor me in.

Good to know :)

RIGHT!?!

This is straight-up profound.

Co-sign. I look at it the same way as I look at concussions in football:

"genetic sexual attraction is normal" —- please don't say stuff like this. You follow this up a sentence or two later saying that you were an abuse victim. This is NOT normal, do NOT attempt to normalize your experience. This may be COMMON, but DON'T say it's normal. It is not ok.

now i kinda want to hear tig notaro read the importance of being earnest.

My painfully conservative (I live in Wisconsin, and my grandma threatened to disown me if I voted to recall Walker a couple years ago) grandparents regularly hang out with a group of other conservatives and communally spout Fox News talking points at each other. That's sort of like friendship, I guess. If you squint.

I have family members. I love them, but let's just say if they weren't family....