The machine that’s helping Odom breathe isn’t the same machine the Khardashians are using to bleed the situation for every rating point they can, is it?

I heard she left him because Kermit’s the pig in the relationship...

People who are always in relationships really weird me out. Like, is it really that hard not having a partner for a more than 6 months or a year? Seems impossible for celebrities. I’m not even really talking about Lea Michelle. Maybe it’s just that I hate pretty much everyone, but I can’t imagine being able to…

I listen to sports talk radio here, in Cleveland, because I hate myself and my brain deserves to be punished. Anyhow, paying attention to the sports media in this city is like being drunk on bad rum while standing on the deck of an old wooden boat in a storm. The equilibrium swings so wildly from side to side, from…

Me too!

If I want to watch someone travel while hammered I enjoy Zane Lamprey...

Every time a young female star has compared her experience with paparazzi to rape, the internet excoriates them, social anxiety or no.

I’m a white atheist, but I was sobbing by the end of that, hoping against hope that Rev. Pinckney and his flock found their heavenly reward.

Rose McGowen = Sean Young. Discuss.

Though there wasn’t anyone like him before him?

No serious injuries? That's incredible, and very fortunate for Vidal - usually a wreck that bad results in Gore.

Yasiel...Pug?

When asked for her reason to annul, Griner simply blamed it on the rain.

“This happened when they were making The Hobbit. They needed to cast background actors, specifically background hobbits.

And even now with such a BLATANT example of white privilege we still have people claiming that there’s no white privilege.

Them bats is smart, they use radar.

Once I waited on Red Skelton and made him a Rob Roy and he drew me a little clown on a bar napkin. George Burns was happy to hear I remembered Gracie Allen. On a plane once, Fabio graciously signed a copy of Cosmo magazine with a special gold pen, (Normally would NOT ask a celebrity for an autograph or photo, but:…

I honestly don’t think he IS. Whenever he speaks, he sounds like me when I was 13 and rilly rilly into Nietzsche and Anton Le Vey and self-congratulation about how much smarter I was than all the sheep, only he’s usually higher than I was.

Man, he’s gonna be pissed when someone reads this article to him.

Beethoven’s sequels got progressively worse