I really want to unload with the expletives. Case McCoy, and his loser brother are not representative of Austin and my university. Michael Sam is going to be a better NFL player than Colt McCoy ever dreamed of being.

Are you Kevin Durant?

I just assumed it contained pets.

Drink at home.

Somebody needs to jack off in every room of this guy's house.

Have we completely foreclosed the possibility that this was a foiled canine kidnapping attempt?

No Zeppelin?

Ryan Leaf - Take Chance on Me/Abba.

I will need to ask my physician, Dr. Leo Spaceman.

He needs to eat locusts and wild honey. That might draw a crowd.

Well, 12 at least.

The History of White People in America was pretty great.

Mull was on a comedy panel on Donahue, I think it was, back in the 80's. Paul Rodriguez was on the panel and was going off on how white Mull was, ending the bit with something like, "Man, you are Hitler's wet dream!" Mull, who had sat quietly while Rodriguez spun out his bit, leaned foward and said, "How does a…

I routinely spend $5.29 on a sixer of Miller High Life. Routinely. Like it's a routine.

Must've been around 1981, Dodger Stadium. Saw a guy dressed like Barney Rubble get pummeled by three cops. He put up a fight, but he weren't no Bam-Bam.

One less emoticon, and he could've afforded an "o" AND an "e".

I took the day off Thursday, so I flipped on the MLB Network a few minutes before the Dodgers-Twins noon game and went straight into the kitchen to fry up some sausages. Even over the sizzle, I hear this frenzied, distressed whining/shouting. "What the shit?", I thought, "Why are the Malaysian airline families on…

This guy is no Jonathan Lee Riches - the most hilarious jailhouse lawyer of all time.

Donde esta Carta Blanca?

One what?