It’s a good thing you came here to show us all how much better you are than us

I’m a fan of what Cher calls him.

I want to be a torch singer from Bayside, Queens!

Gerge kill because his fiancee said Friends better than Seinfeld

It would be super cool if we could focus on her encyclopedia-sized list of awful personal characteristics instead of calling her an uggo over and over again. I know she’s a shallow, mean-spirited person, but 50% of the comments are LOL UGLY TROPHY WIFE.

Ever since I saw him on Drunk History I’ve been insanely attracted to him. Even with the ponytail ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

YUGE fan of Leah Remini’s show, and every time I hear ol’ L. Ron speak it sounds freakishly Trumpian. They even look similar.

Aw, did the snowflake brothers get their wittle feelings hurt?

Olivia?

“Me and my bf have sexy sex” - things non-bearded couples definitely disclose in interviews

Jinx

He also countered the peepee story with a mention of how he’s afraid of germs and cameras. Feels like he’s on his way to Howard Hughes status.

EMAILZ

Confession: have been using a blending sponge for months and never thought to just wet the damned thing.

Jussie Smollett <3

So on top of everything else, Trump is a germaphobe who thinks cameras are hidden everywhere he goes. Great. Much stable. Very leadership. Such safety.

I read 200% more now that I have the damned Kindle app.

Everybody’s upset about Joaquin but... Rooney Mara as Mary Magdalene? In such case we should be grateful that the casting director didn’t tap Ryan Gosling to play JC.

You should smile more, baby.