Don't. S&M fetishes DO NOT mean you wanted your abuse or consented to it or "secretly enjoyed it" or whatever. It is entirely possible to consensually enjoy the type of sex you like and dislike rape.

I had an enduring crush throughout childhood and adolescence. The object of my crush? My super handsome Hapa cousin. My first cousin. I learned that in CA it was legal to marry a cousin, so I told myself it wasn't too weird.

Happy trails. Man sweat. Speaking in a foreign language. Juggling a soccer ball. Driving safely. Knowing how to start a fire. A well placed curse word. The band of a guy's boxers sticking out slightly from the waistline of his jeans. Shirt sleeves rolled up to the forearms. Assuming I want queso and ordering it…

Ve haff vays aaf making you come.

Yet, nothing is done about sexual assault, short of blaming the "attacker," a guy who was likely as drunk as his "victim." [...] If drunk women who have sex are able to claim "rape," why aren't drunk men alleviated of responsibility for the poor decisions they make?

I also do not take part.

My best friend is a 5'3" tiny woman, and she runs all the time. Once she was alone and a dude on his bike smacked her ass. So she shoved him off his bike and yelled, "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT WEARING A HELMET, ASSHOLE!!!" and then ran off.

Man, the Seahawks are going to be [sic] this year!

The worst asshole move is the person in the seat behind who grabs the chair in front in order to hoist his or her disgusting body out of his or her seat, thereby shaking the shit out of the person a row forward. Turn slightly and use your own fucking chair to get up, ya asshole! So many face-punching fantasies from…

Monica- Don't Take it Persona

I like to think Elaine Stritch answered the knock at the Pearly Gates and that they're both sitting having vodka on the rocks, talking shit about everyone.

It's my personal opinion that if you're un-lucky enough to get a middle seat, you get both armrests. Aisle seat gets one. Window seat gets one, because those seats are more desirable. This makes a win-win for everyone.

Sensitive subject: How do I explain to my counter person that, rather than coke or sprite, I would like my Big Mac combo to come with a large soda's worth of secret sauce?

Lacky: "Welker popped Molly"

Aww, I loved "Give It To You." It was ridiculous and fun. In the video he's all like "Ok, kids, I'm 30-years-old and I'm hanging out with you teenagers at a carnival for some reason. But right now I'm gonna whip off my leather jacket and show you some super fresh dance moves in my turtleneck and cargo khakis."

A quote from The Mirren might help them? Or maybe not.

This isn't insane, but still one of my fondest travel memories.

I was visiting Rome and taking a bus with some friends when we started talking to a nun who couldn't have been older than 25. She was from Seattle, and had just gotten to Rome a few months before, so she was still acclimating, but knew her shit. We get to a stop, and a man snatches her backpack and tries to run off of…

By the time I was 6, I had two little sisters. We went on our first family vacation that year, and (now that I know what kind of hell it is to share a hotel room with children) my parents weren't exactly relaxing. By the end of the trip, their plan was to load up the car while we were all still asleep (when you're…

This is actually Mr. BallofStess' insane travel story, but its so good I have to share! When he was 16, his family went to Greece for a summer vacation. One afternoon, on the island of Crete, he, his mom, and his dad rented a car and drove to a local beach for the day. As it got to be dinner time, they packed up and…