What a coincidence, I have also tried valiantly to pursue what is in Idris Elba's trousers.

That's how my mom uses them. "Emma, you'll never believe it. I just heard the most interesting study on NPR about how 64 percent of girls your age have graduated from law school and are starting families with a nice Jewish boy."

instead of talking about how fucked up this is in so many ways, or about the prevalence of plastic surgery in sk, i will talk about something more important, like how my new life goal is to have this sentence be written again, sometime in the future, about me:

Yeah but it's like, you know how Catholics believe the water—>wine thing? And how that would be amazing? Fried rice is starting with some water-ass white rice and elevating it to a new and wonderful level. I'm so fucking hungry right now. I'm sorry.

Natalie Dormer is so god damn gorgeous. Stop being so attractive when I'm trying to not care about the Hunger Games!

it's probably got something to do with this being a feminist website. You know, about women for women. A place where we discuss things that are effecting women.

That little dog just trust-leaped his way into my heart. The owner just trust-caught his way into my pants.

Happy thoughts:

Gotta burn it so it doesn't come back as a wight.

And then one of your kids accidentally takes your ipod and never tells you. Then, one day you're at work and want to show your boss something and tentacle rape porn is the first thing in your downloads folder. Which you have just shown your boss.

You're totally right; the way in which he has turned down most of his sponsorship opportunities, canceled the reality documentary after negative feedback, performed well in the preseason, and given one interview since being drafted by the Rams (in which he talked about how performing well in the preseason gave him…

Yeah I saw that hours ago. I'm not sure why on earth I would bother posting that in Tweet Beat. Doesn't seem like I need to promote Jezebel on Jezebel.

League looked at tape of entire practice and deemed Seahawks coaches were encouraging too much contact.

knowing when not to insult a toddler =/= celebrity child worship

Thanks for proving the author's point about the fans.

My favorite neg ever:

Him: Zelda!
Me (dressed as Link from Legend of Zelda): Link!
Him: Huh?
Me: I'm dressed as Link. Zelda is the princess.
Him: Whatever. I know way more about video games than you.
Me:…

I also love the Broncos and I am very saddened that I won't be buying any Broncos gear (well, officially licensed, anyway - I'm sure there's a joint down Federal where I can get me a good knock-off) because I really could use a new long-sleeved winter shirt so that I might unite in orange.

Oh, and BTW, a 4-game…

Go Broncos!! Have we all recovered from last season yet?

The vomit wasn't even the issue here. Gary Bettman just didn't want another clown to be so closely associated with the Stanley Cup.

Why Your League Sucks: The NFL