I should probably admit right now that I am fat myself. I’m barely 5′1″ and 135 pounds and wear a size 6 and a 34DD

Or, I don’t know, making sure you put yourself back together after peeing and your dress isn’t sticking in the back of your underwear.

Or fix contacts, my usual bathroom mirror thing.

Cuz girls are always checking themselves in mirrors to make sure their hair and makeup is perfect, and never to make sure they don’t have a piece of food stuck in their teeth from lunch.

For real. The “go back to Univision” line referenced in the article would make a lot more sense if the context that he is a Univision anchor was added.

Dude, Louisiana is the state that re-elected to the governor’s office the man who said this: “There’s no way they’ll (law enforcement) get me unless I’m caught in bed with a live boy or a dead girl.”

In Louisiana? Pretty damn good, actually.

Ugh, no. I honestly hope the bride does “confront” the bridesmaid, just so the BM can see what a shitty friend the bride is and drop her from her life.

YUP. This is a brand of idiocy that appeals to right-wing homeschoolers AND hippies.

I wish that were true. In this case I know a bunch of liberals that believe this nonsense, too. Because of toxins.

Have you never sucked the lifeforce out of a baby before?

Preach!

P. much. As long as I don’t sneeze because nostril tickles, IDGAF, had sex.

Lady here. I buzz mine off a couple of times per month with a Wahl clipper on the shortest guard. No ingrowns, takes seconds. No complaints.

I like it with a penis.

Where’s the “Doesn’t matter; had sex” option for preferences on partners’ pubes?

I am so tired of banal “horror” movies but I was surprised by how much I liked this movie. I really like suspenseful movies where I can’t guess where it is going. It’s hard to legitimately surprise me (or probably anyone else) during most scary/horror movies, but they did here. Well done.

You do realize bullets can go all the way through somebody right?

“Good morning and welcome.”