Wait, where is his suit and briefcase?

Anyone who tries it in that context is probably going to keep knocking it. Good anal takes a whole lot of lube and warming up.

I would also like to point out that 'slipping' in regards to anal is only ever a good thing.

This is why I abstained until marriage and only enjoy coitus with my loving wife and 800 concubines.

Needles, yo.

What if one of those virgins was born HIV positive?

no. If one of those virgins was molested—-even if there was no penetration—-then he or she could well have HPV or herpes and transmit it.

Yup, it's true. No STDs can ever be transmitted by anything other than sexual intercourse, because they magically are different than other communicable illnesses.

Isn't there a possibility of getting STDs from things other than sex? I know AIDS can be passed on from mother to children, and there have to be other examples.

Yes, but a) marriage has nothing to do with it and b) Actual biblical sex is pretty damn kinky and involves mistresses and lot's of stuff that will absolutely get you an STI. So... his science is right but his religion is wrong, surprisingly.

That would be hard on any guy.

"That's not what we bishops talk about" is exactly the problem. A bunch of celibate guys who have no idea what a loving sexual partnership is like would OF COURSE ignore this aspect of marriage.

I've been thinking of catching the Thief in the Night series, which (after way too long of looking on subscription sites) I realized is up on YouTube. I've long heard how crazy it was (and I went to the kind of church that was too nice to discuss Christian movies that dealt in scary things) but I've only seen the…

Or This is the End.

That doll ain't gonna fuck itself.

Your screenname is killing me, because it reminds me of how my sister used to have a BFF with the same first name in high school and my dad would call them "Sarah and Sarah 2: Electric Bugaloo." It eventually got shortened to just Bugaloo and resulted in such sentances as "Sarah's at the mall with Bugaloo" and "Ask…

The one girl on there who truly wants it ALL THE TIME.

I am imagining one of the biggest mad dash races in the world to make the first "this is just revenge for AIDS" joke that this article was calling out for.

I think it's fine to make fun of anyone who goes, "My biggest problem is that I'm too pretty/I'm too smart/I'm too caring/my dick is too big/etc." That type of thinking isn't just confident, it's narcissistic.

Oh, honey. You could prop up a moderately realistic blow-up doll and write her a profile and you would instantly get "yOUaRe PREEETY. WaNT some COCK?" It ain't that hard to get attention on there.