Brace yourself. More sentient phlegm commercials are coming.

Han learned this the hard way, no?

New Mutants? Give me Old Mutants. Menopause Martha, MedicAlert, The Diabeter, Titanium Hip and The DMV Hacking Cough. THAT was a classic lineup.

Eh, should dissipate quickly. Those Occupy Wall Street kids didn't stick around too long. Indifference to Skrulls in 10 months, tops.

"This is Soros/Clinton/Brock liberal fascism" Brock Lesnar finally implicated.

Psh. More like "The Let Down," right? Right? *opens wrists*

That's funny. Pence typically reminds me of a crucifix. Wooden and likely to leave you hanging.

Trump's easy. Have we started pre-casting for The Mike Pence Holy Roller Hour yet?

"Can't take action. Must find novelty mug to top John Oliver's." - Ajit Pai

That Darth Maul gets around.

"Let me tell you, NOBODY was impeached faster than I was, okay? You hear that, low energy Andrew Johnson?"

Give me time. I'm just one man.

You can't make me believe that's not Laura Linney. Search your feelings. You know it to be true.

Hey, it's Babu! Hey Babu, I don't usually do this, but the the Balguarmian Sea shrimp, it's a little stringy.

*wipes crumbs from mouth* Oh, sorry.

Umm… Human ejaculate is best served on toast with a side of wet dog hair?

“Eh. It’s dumb. I don’t like it that much to tell you the truth. Why? You guessed it… Frank Stallone."

Gratuitous dick pic = show renewal. This is what the producers of Last Man Standing failed to comprehend.

Any chance Stan Lee has been secretly playing The Watcher this entire time? As in… he likes to watch? "That's right. YES! Take it all, true believer! EXCELSIOR!"

"The name's Con. Ret Con."