I haven’t tried this, but I am intrigued and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

I agree with everything, except french fries on a sandwich are delicious.

Very appropriately, after reading this, I went and picked up an order from Five Guys and some woman in front of me was complaining that one of her kid’s little bacon cheeseburger had bacon on it. .... The cashier said, “Yeah, those have bacon on them. So you want a cheeseburger instead? ... Do you want cheese on it?”

I used to have a roommate like that. For two years, the four of us would each separately order from the same Chinese delivery place at least once a week, usually the same driver. Of course the driver started throwing in free stuff/double orders. Despite all three of us trying to explain it, the one dude just would not…

It wasn’t even effective religious propaganda- when they first start whipping and beating on Him about halfway into the thing, I’m like:

Apparently, tilapia is “just a genetically-engineered fish” that’s “bred for its cheapness.”

I worked at a theater while Passion of the Christ was out. It brought it some pretty interesting people. One customer straight up told me that I was going to hell while buying tickets. I also had a blind customer get tickets for the movie. Normally I wouldn’t think that was weird, but the entire movie is in Aramaic…

Thom, thank you for the snort/laugh/choke: “If I didn’t know that Jim’s mother was alive, I would have assumed she was brutally murdered by a gang of tilapia.”

Has anyone out there just refused to go to restaurants with someone? Like sat them down and said something along the lines of, “When we go to restaurants I feel very uncomfortable. I think we have different ideas about tipping and how to treat waitstaff and these ideas are things that I do not feel comfortable…

If you’re taking up a table for more than an hour, you should tip higher, imo.

Passion of the Christ, which we can all agree was basically a torture snuff film, brought the craziest people out of the woodwork. According to a friend who worked at the local theater at the time, more than half the staff just straight up quit over the abuse they got from people so ignorant and belligerent. This…

Part of me really wanted Momager to actually smack Psycho Santa with the pizza pan.

Yeah, you can take your oppression Olympics right the fuck on out of here, thanks.

What the fuck? Even Hooters lets women wear sneakers. And high heels are so unsafe in a resturant. What if there’s a spill or they break a plate? I thought servers had to wear footwear like non-slip sneakers because it’s a giant fucking liability otherwise.

I’m on record as stating that I’ll eat insects a) if they taste OK, and b) if they do not look in any way like insects.

I have more luck in winter because I LOVE PASTA SO MUCH so heavy, warm pasta dishes are my JAM. In summer, everyone is doing so much grilling and stuff that it’s a touch harder to avoid.

Yes, but a lot of people had been saying things like “He was only 2 seconds behind Secretariat, because they don’t seem to realize in horse racing, 2 seconds is a huge distance