The freedomness of all this is just too much for me.

Aww, it’s OK. Come here.

I don’t want to fight you, you just seem like you badly need a hug.

The toaster one reminds me of the time one of the librarians smelled food and tracked it down to a woman who was sitting at a reading desk with a crock pot plugged in underneath it, cooking chicken stew.

Yes, that girl and her crazy husband/boyfriend/partner-in-crime are my new heroes. I am already imagining their crazy adventures, her menacingly staring down the evils of the world while her companion does donuts in his truck while singing awful disco.

I really hope that couple from the coffee story are still together and fighting crime with funky disco beats, choreographed truck moves, and the unwavering ability to tell someone to shut the fuck up.

Holly’s entire rendition of that crazy story was hilarious but this

The best answer to “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?” is always “Sorry, but no.”

I’m a celiac vegetarian, who doesn’t eat mushrooms. And I’ve been vegan. Fuck these assholes. If I go anywhere that I suspect won’t have what I need at-the-ready, I call ahead, and ask. And if it’s a fancy place, I ask for the notes to be added to my reservation.

To be honest, I’ve spent so much of my life angry at the basic injustices inherent to both this country and the human condition that I think I’ve transmogrified that feeling into something akin to a fuel source.

I can’t quite get my head around the contradictory desire among so many white people to be racist but not be called racist.

Oh no, I love DC. I just hate that fucking football team. I also love San Francisco, Seattle, Toronto, I don’t hate LA, and I’d probably like both Chicago and Milwaukee if I went there.

Perfect. You know the sad thing about this? Black Leaf actually is a pretty decent D&D name, unlike Elfstar, who is presumably an Elf. That’s like being named Humanda.

The name of the team says it all.

Grew up in DC. Can’t pretend I’m objective.