No school lunch ever looked like this.

Worse. Way worse.

So I kept count and here we are! I made her keep her promise!

I use “small, medium, large” too, but the people working the counter are just doing their jobs. They’re not the ones who came up with arbitrary terminology for the coffee sizes.

It’s a good thing they had their windshield wipers on.

I hope your asshole writes a bestseller countering all of your dick’s accusations, and that the two of them become embroiled in a decades-long media feud.

Vegetarians ruin things for everyone. ;)

My brother used to refuse to eat tacos after they either fell apart (soft) or broke (hard).

I can understand wanting to make sure you don’t pay tax when you don’t have to when the tax is a significant chunk of money, like on a vehicle purchase or electronics (I had heard of that). But when all you’re buying is cheap crap to remember the one time that you and your family stopped by a small regional theater…

We sold tourist-y crap, mostly, but since we were connected to a university all of the cashiers were told explicitly that sales tax exemptions were only to be used in cases of purchases that were accompanied with a sales tax exemption form - and this usually only happened with teacher purchases.

When I worked in retail I had one customer insist that they didn’t have to pay tax on their purchase because (even though they were SHOPPING in my state) they lived in the neighboring state, which doesn’t have the same tax.

Ewwwwww. You have my sympathies. Real food onstage is the worst.

The boxed cake mixes available from grocery stores in the U.S. pretty much universally call for oil.

When you’re working a play on a budget and have a million things to do, making a cake from cake mix is the most economical choice in terms of both time and money. This actor effectively doubled the prop master’s workload, even excluding all of the time she spent trying to find a non-oil cake recipe that the actors…

Agreed. Beets taste like dirt that turns everything purple.

Jamie Layton’s story reminds me of a famous story I heard when I was working at a regional theater festival.

So....were the "Air Force" sons in Lawrence's story threatening to bomb San Francisco if this restaurant didn't give them a military discount? I'm trying figure out if they could have possibly meant anything else.

Holy shit.

I can see someone being unfamiliar with a brown bread and thinking that it was burnt, but has anyone ever seen light-colored breads toast/burn in a pattern before? Really? Other than the occasional Jesus or Virgin Mary cameo?