I came in ready to laugh....but wow...this ran like a skit that the cool kids came up with in 15 minutes in your 9th grade acting class. So bad.

If the person who did it has knowledge of something you want desperately to keep secret, you'd consider this a warning and keep your mouth shut.

I used to live in Have de Grace (oddly enough, in a townhouse once owned by one of the lesser-known Ripkens). Its hard to over-estimate how much that family is given celebrity status in that part of Maryland. Not just Cal and his dad — ALL of them.

It was Kevin Costner, he got the wrong Mrs. Ripken.

Also needing to be questioned, how in the hell is Cal letting his Mom drive in a 14 year old Lincoln Town car. Step up your game Iron Man, get your Mom a new fucking car every 5 years.

... And don't let the door hit you on the way out! Bye!

I love longform. Thanks, Dave.

I don't know why it feels like the kidnapping happened a decade ago, but it is amazing how quickly it evaporated from my consciousness. What a bizarre story.

This is comic gold with commentary from the pro ass shaker, sorry hit so close to home, but this f'n hilarious shit. Get the stick out of your ass and enjoy the humor, we all say and do stupid shit, even with the best intentions.

TWIST

This seems so complicated and stressful for both ends. Customers don't know exactly how much to give and tip and to who, dancers don't know how much they will end up getting that night. UGH. I went to a strip club once with one of my clients who handled all the money stuff but if it were just me alone I would be…

$40 bucks is her advised amount? I guess her friends are leaving after an hour.

Bill Nye still believes in Global Warming. That's all you need to know about Bill Nye.

It's just not that hard to get over yourself, come on.

It's just not that hard to get over yourself, come on.

HOW DARE YOU LIKE SOMETHING THAT IS A GOOD DEAL AND IS ALMOST UNIVERSALLY ENJOYED! OBVIOUSLY YOU ARE A PAID SHILL! GAWKER MEDIA ARE FUCKING SELLOUTS!!!1!!!!11!

HOW DARE YOU LIKE SOMETHING THAT IS A GOOD DEAL AND IS ALMOST UNIVERSALLY ENJOYED! OBVIOUSLY YOU ARE A PAID SHILL!…

This is not an advertisement and was not paid for.

This is not an advertisement and was not paid for.

Given that it's not an ad I would not do that.

Given that it's not an ad I would not do that.

This is more of an Amazon thing than specifically Prime, but here goes.

This is more of an Amazon thing than specifically Prime, but here goes.

I am very invested in my job. Several typos that were almost immediately fixed don't really speak to how invested I am in my job or not. The fact that I have this blogging format downloaded onto every one of my electronic devices to write stories as quickly as possible if/when they break? Maybe a little more so. All…