If there's anything funnier than grade school bullying, it's definitely prison rape.

This is the least funny item ever to appear on Deadspin. Which is saying something.

You forgot footnotes. -1

Move over Shakespeare; your time is over. History's preeminent English-language satirist is now tosh123.

Wait, can we talk about Father's Day again? Could there be any less-deserved holiday? Like, BMW-driving Heiresses' Day? Hey kids, I fucked your mom and took her to the hospital 9 months later. Sometimes I changed a poopy diaper when I couldn't weasel out of it. Buy me presents!

Not exactly 2. This place is on the very edge of Detroit suburbs, and basically there's nothing north of here until the Hudson Bay. Unless you want to count Bad Axe, which, no.

Is a... I mean... I don't..... I mean, is the—pig—dead? Because... wait, what are you talking about??!?

Catches, maybe? I am guessing catches.

Your argument would be equally stupid if you spelled "chick" correctly.

Yeah... suck it, safety!

I suppose we should watch college football instead—or were you perhaps going to steer us toward NASCAR?

Ah the joys of parenting the first child. By the third, one tends to draw the line at trying not to let the baby eat too many things she picked up from the floor.

I think the primary question is: where will these people live now that they have sold their RV to attend a Dodgers road game?

Are there no video game reviews written in a langu... er, alphabet with which you are familiar?

These guys were just playing too damned much CoD.

And first I thought this was a scam. A stupid kinja comments spam scam.

Love or leave it, brah.

Holy Christ what a tool you are. Nobody likes you.

Was reaching your tipping point with Drew the thing that caused you to duplicate his writing style? Just curious.

Are you somehow claiming he didn't steal every scene he shared in Aliens? Because THAT would be insane.