+how many fingers am I holding up?

The Denver Nuggets Unveiled New Alternate Energy-Powered Jerseys In Your Local Business Park Conference Room

Preferably using collateralized debt obligations and/or drone strikes, as the case may require!

Quick! Someone check with Simmons for the Mayan Calendar angle! There has to be one!

Yet another example of the kind of comment that makes me hate Deadspin! Come on, asshole, this is a sports and politics blog, not a fricken' culinary website.

Was anyone else listening to the ESPN radio broadcast in the first half? The whole crew blew up around the time of the Moreno fumble. I think they had to forcibly sedate Boomer. Anyway, it was pretty interesting since the bunch (not a crew you would expect to hear it from) basically demanded the regular refs back—next…

Admit it, Leitch: you and Grierson were stuck in East Lansing all weekend and didn't actually see the movie.

I'm not sure which I'd pick between Lin and Arenas if my team needed to pick up a backup 2 guard right now.

The lesson here is never, ever send your kids to a pro football player's charity event; instead seek out charities run by college football assistant coaches.

With just seconds left, a Chicago player (in green) is whistled for a handball in the box.

Wait, is this cross-posted on Gawker? Or are they busing in commenters?

Duh, that's the one right after the eleventieth pick.

After watching the vid, I can definitively state that Holley Mangold should carry the entire United States Olympic Table Tennis team into the stadium for opening ceremonies. Shouldn't be too difficult.

We just got the HBO

This is bullshit science, buckeye tree bisexuality is clearly a lifestyle choice.

I looked at the full article but was interrupted by a Daily Caller reporter phoning me and shouting loaded questions over the line as I tried to read.

Instead of being forced to dance, however, people are forced to watch them dance.

Exposing their sexual organs? Meh. Watch where the doctors place your wife's uterus (hint: it's not in her) the next time she has a c-section. HAWT!

He's a player that wants to get out and play

He's a player that wants to get out and play