This line in his most recent piece on LeBron slayed me:

Wondo’s mom brings the orange slices for halftime sooooo

And yet he’s probably still like “Once you’re done mixing paint in my butthole, I’ve got word of another settlement that needs your help.”

At what point is it not OK to have a roommate? My friend is 35, has a respectable income and a fairly reasonable mortgage with no bills besides utilities and student loans, yet his brother and another friend live with him. I say it’s ridiculous (and his previous girlfriend agrees with me since she just broke up with…

I’d love to watch LeBron try sepak takraw.

can’t be that much worse than these guys

One thing I’ve learned from Dan LeBatard, these rumors are almost always leaked from a minority owner who doesn't even have a board seat and just wants someone to listen to them for a change.

White privilege

they were going to map the entire planet with drones to generate its world.

Wait, the Walmart near my house has the deodorant locked up but this one just has fireworks laying out there for anyone with a lighter to mess with?

You wanted Mickey Arison to pay $36M to keep Mike fucking Miller around to appease LeBron’s fragile ego? The same corpse of Mike Miller he dragged to Cleveland last year? Stop.

Donald Trump thinks an erotic essay is a Mexican porn star.

FLOTUS, you tryna get tha pipe?

Oh, but when I pour a drink all over a server I get fired from my job. Fucking IT department is no fun.

This is what it sounds like when Dubs cry

Livingston is so good, I don’t understand why they don’t play him with both Curry and Thompson more. Let him handle so they can flow and run off screens. He’ll get you the ball wherever you want it.

It’s not a burrito without the tortilla — you’re just eating a bowl of shit.

Well, suddenly, I take these two gentlemen less seriously as sports intellectuals.

Nothing symbolizes Cleveland better than thousands of people outside of an arena named after a predatory loan company, celebrating something occurring California, benefiting million and billionaires that will have exactly no positive impact on their lives.

Thanks for the fearmongering, Lapierre. Now we’ve got armed untrained civilians blasting away at shoplifters: