Thoughts of Goff’s mom and sister are looking great for my big night thanks to @HotShowerMasterbation_w/Pantene #NOGirlfriend #noprospects

I thought he was going to go with the “I just meant he was dumb, like a bundle of sticks” defense.

Even goes so far as to reference when cities like “Toronto or Atlanta fans throw debris onto the field,” but fails to include his city.

FloridaFloridaFloridaFloridaFloridaFlorida FloridaFlorida FloridaFlorida HOT Florida FloridaFlorida Philly FloridaFlorida FloridaFloridaFlorida TAKE Florida BugsBunny FloridaFloridaPhilly Philly Philly Philly FloridaFlorida FloridaFlorida FloridaFlorida white men FloridaFloridaFlorida FloridaFloridaFlorida Philly…

That won’t play in Capital City.

“It’s a fun dance!”

“I got chills, they’re multiplying.”

That movie got me waiting for a “dare to be great situation” that I’m still waiting for.

can i get her number?

...and Elizabeth Lambert is smiling like a proud mother.

Wow, I was not expecting a comment like this.

Be honest...you’re just trying to get someone from Jezebel to dance with you tonight.

duh

This was great, but Zebraman didn’t have a mullet. I think you have to see ears to be a mullet.

“EMPATHY,” I spoke the word, as if a wedding vowwwwww...

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It’s being covered like this because LaRoche is buddies with the Duck Dynasty guys.

Lenny Dykstra abides.

Thanks for the link, I thought of that article as soon as I saw his picture above.

There was this kid I grew up with; he was younger than me. Sorta looked up to me, you know. We did our first work together, worked our way out of the street. Things were good, we made the most of it. As much as anyone, I loved him and trusted him. Later on he had an idea to build a team. That kid’s name was Howie…