since we're posting our favorite versions of 'Let It Go', then....

BETTER. THAN. OUR. DADS.

I know there's a "happy ending" to all this, but this made me very sad:

That second one makes it look like she was sown together from two different bodies. WHY??????

I keep seeing this.

I'm just happy you actually had tomato sauce and didn't have to resort to ketchup!
And also, you just described a Passover Pizza (pizza made with matzah).

When I was a college student who lived in a basement apartment that was basically a cave (yes, there were dirt walls), I would make something similar for dinner almost every night: half of a pita bread with tomato sauce and sprinkling of shredded cheese. Pack of 5 pitas $1.00, bottle of cheap tomato sauce $1.50 and…

You monster.

You can either reject saying stupid shit like Flatizza, or embrace it with gleeful malice and use it in every sentence. "Does this have real Flatizza flavor?" "Can I get extra Flatizza sauce?" "Is this Flatizza made like the Flatizzas my grandmother used to make?"

I went into a Subway and asked the young woman behind the counter if I should order one. She made a face and shook her head no emphatically. That was enough for me.

What's up with the desire to eat a bunch of food that's really gross? Like, I can eat a great dinner of roasted chicken and be fine. But, if I eat that Cool Ranch taco from Taco Bell, I want 90 of them.

Because pizza would sue it for defamation.

"Here's the thing though. What if she really was a mercurial and polarizing boss?"

Same here. I love when an off-leash dog comes barrelling up to me when I'm walking Princess Asshole and so I have to scoop her up (30lb dog) while she snarls, snaps and squirms. Meanwhile, the owner is like "OH HE'S NICE! IT'S OKAY!" while I respond, well that's great but this one is NOT NICE.

Ah, Jack mixes. Awesome dogs in most respects, complete assholes in others.

I'm in CRM, as well, but I question the choice to send such an email at all. Unless they have very, very clearly self-reported data indicating that someone delivered (successfully) recently, this was always going to be a risky, ill-advised email, no matter how targeted. I'd say it's both a marketing and list gen fail.…

Seriously. I fucking hate when people are like "no, my dog's cool, he's just gonna wander around the yard while I tool around in the garage," and then I walk past with my two territorial-as-fuck dogs on leashes and that asshole's dog mosies over to say hello.

I'm looking at you, people who think your dog is friendly and well-behaved enough to be off of a leash. You're all assholes.

The guy who can fuck Rihanna.