Thalidomide.

The only option left is for it to be litigated in the Deadspin comments section

Fun fact: “The Touching is, To Me, Off Limits,” was the original title of MC Hammer’s 1990 breakthrough single. 

It’s so weird that so many people independently decided that MAGA gear and Trump slogans were a great way to intimidate minorities. It couldn’t possibly that all of those people easily understood the messaging behind those things. I’ve been told that would be an unfair interpretation of the facts. So, clearly, they…

I usually say that if a bad call beats you, it is your own fault for letting it be that close. But this was absolutely brutal. Like Armando Gallaraga perfect game brutal. If they are going to miss something like that, then watching a game is almost pointless and you can just watch a random number generator do its…

I think this perfectly captures my belief here, certainly the feeling of my experience.

And this thoughtless, vile cruelty is a big part of his brand and why a large portion of this nation likes him.

Oh God.

America...where we hold atheletes to a higher standard than the president.

Holy shit. That video gave me a Let’s Remember Some Guys-induced boner. Forget that it’s Brad Lidge facing Albert Pujols; that dugout shot of Clemens and Pettite, followed by Jim Edmonds and (GRIT ALERT) David Fucking Eckstein meeting Pujols at home was like crushing up the late 90s and early 00s and snorting it. 

Never left? I can count the number of those little Laker car flags I’ve seen in the last five years on one hand. And I’m Jason Pierre-Paul.

Can’t get in trouble if you are adding -er, -y or -s to a last name.

Let’s see here... in chronological order, we have:

It’s like the event horizon of dipshittery.

Let’s clarify, who is also a dipshit father of dipshit kids.

I’d say it was caused by Draymond Green, but I don’t think that’s where airplanes keep their testicles.

We get it. You use an Android phone.

and then they will send in wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes to eat the lizards, followed by snake-eating gorillas, and then when wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.

If pinto ain’t number one, the list has to be redone.