Congratulations. A person cut their hair. I do that every other week. Where’s my article?

Yeah, no sh*te Fahey. Because Surgeon Simulator is designed to make any input regardless of skill super goofy. It’s no different than asking a Ballon d’or footballer to take a free kick with a plastic bag. Is this news? Get a real job you red Xbox controller licking wide-o.

Standards have hit rock bottom. Looks like a midget fell into a discount craft basket.

What’s the deal with all the something something opens in Japan that zero readers can visit? 9lb ramen challenges and limited time only funky black burgers. There’s weird stuff all over the planet, weirder stuff even outside Japan. Ashcraft’s Japan-centric news is weeaboo gross, irrelevant and a disservice to the real…

Your grammar is all over the shop. Y’all.

Really?

So you ate stuff. Walk on.

Why reposting this s week later? Clicky Monster.

Who cares?

What more can I say? I͠t͒’͋̐s ̿᷁the most ̶i̔n͐̃novat̙i͟ṽe s͇͌ho̦̟o̦͊̈te̜r͐̑ ͤI̡̞’ve playͬed̒́͞ in ye̹ͥars.̶

I hope you’re happy with your work contributions to 2016.

Mate, what’s up with the italics overkill? Do you make a weird voice when you type?

So, a restaurant has a thing. America and countless other places have such things. But you repost other people’s tweets on a burger you’ve never eaten despite living in Japan. This is up here on Kotaku for the only reason of, as you like to say, because Japan. Lazy, irrelevant and unwarranted. Nothing to do with…

Cool. Nice to have all these articles in one place to send a link to friends to make them feel even worse about 2016.

Something either grows or doesn’t. Nothing totally grows. How do you keep your job?

Note: This article contains content some readers might find objectionable.

It’s on the Bunnymen album Songs to Learn and Sing. Even if it is on the Pretty in Pink soundtrack, it’s daft to cite this as the source. Would you say a Rolling Stones song is cut from a Sister Act soundtrack? Lazy.

Yeah. Never heard that before. Born yesterday mate?

The hardware? Daft.

You get paid for this?