Have you considered bottoming out? It makes everybody much more impressed with future mediocrity.

Can Jezebel please gather all the name they’ve given Trump into a single article?! They make me laugh so hard!

Pretty sure if two couples do some rails together there’s going to be some swapping. That’s just how these things pan out.

I’m doing this wrong. The things I don’t buy goes to my private Amazon wish lists... it’s less tracking my self-restraint and more building a horrendous splurge list. I look at it everyday.

The section “Excellent Credit Doesn’t Matter, Even When You Think It Should” perfectly summarizes why the credit rating system is not only stupid, but also anti-consumer. You can have a perfect record, but if you’re applying with your spouse then they go with whoever has the lowest credit score.

Those rules are great... if you’re a robot that can be programmed to always follow rules.

Infinity meta!

Holy wow! Is that even real????

Catch 22 is that drinks 3 and 4 weaken the resolve

Why?

because a lot of people need a defined rule

Professional wisdom suggests that if this is advice you are considering, you should actually be having zero drinks at parties, and also everywhere else.

Don’t be so down on yourself. I started my IT career with learning how to work a spreadsheet with Lotus 1-2-3 which I know dates me but so does the grey hair.

Here is Taylor making her way to her SUV from another angle.

My biggest take-away from the Bloom photos (you’re goddamn right I clicked that link!) is relief that Katy Perry, too, has cellulite. Celebrities - they’re just like us!

I’m convinced that celebrities have their own network

Illuminati

I somehow want these to be made into an advent calendar.

• An ambitious corn dog that escaped from the concession stand at a rural Alabama fairground, stole an unattended wig, hopped a freight train to Atlantic City and never looked back

Thank you, Anna, for doing the Lord’s work.