I love poached eggs so much that I’m going to write my own little treatise here.

I find it offensive that KFC had to flash breasts at teens. 

To me, “We apologise if anyone was offended” is not a sincere apology. May I rephrase here? “We apologise for giving offense.” 

A human doesn’t answer; I suppose a machine counts?

You realize, I hope, that there is a worrying penalty for having a lower credit score (like mine). Credit becomes the lifeline. And, knowing that, the credit-card companies dance on your as-yet-empty grave by charging riskier account holders some phenomenal interest rates. My three credit-card companies are celebrating…

I bought an airline ticket yesterday. I don’t travel much anymore (<$). God, these low-price ticket mongers have gotten shitty. After choosing that “basic” super-low option, I paid extra for a carry-on ($20 x 2), and for the privilege of choosing a seat rather than being assigned to the fart section ($17 x 2), and…

I completely ruined the finish on my racks by using oven cleaner on them.

I completely ruined the finish on my racks by using oven cleaner on them.

For gods sake when is Call Me By Your Name going to be included in a streaming service for no xtra $? It’s been 3 years!

Hey, Tracy, you know that hyphens aren’t just for proper nouns, right?

Crap! I meant to say have them hold you horizontally. Like, stretched out across them. I’ve actually seen a photo of it being done and it looked cool. All the guys were wearing white tuxedo jackets, and it turned out to be the greatest wedding reception/blowout I’ve ever been to.

For the classic groom-and-groomsmen lineup, have them hold you vertically at their waist height. Hilarious! (Hm, just saw post dates; am I too late…or early?)

My remote job requires plenty of this is what I mean emails + screenshots. Having them land on the desktop makes it so easy to drag into message area. Hit send, then delete because, duh, my email archive has it now.

Bring. it. on.

Why the fuck? What is wrong with people, they can’t respect what an animal needs (peace, quiet, hay)?

Was it good? I loved the book (as a kid) but the special effects in the trailer looked awful. Asking for a friend.

I didn’t stick around to find out but I wish I had at least lurked in my car to find out. Dang! (In my defense, I was uncharacteristically wigged.)

Oh, I definitely want to see the other 125 minutes or however much I missed, which was a lot.

Go to the doc.

Girl you look great.

This is crazy.