“If you wanted chicken you should have gone somewhere good, you piece of shit” is how I end all of my emails.

Feels strange to have the first of the series not be the Browns, whose annual display of ineptitude really set the mood for the rest of the season.  There could not be a more boring disaster of a franchise than the Cardinals.  Build a wall around Arizona 

This comment is best read in Eric Cartman’s voice.

Because shut up, Kyle.

LeBatard is one of the most consistent, entertaining voices at ESPN. Suspending him would only confirm and reinforce everything he said. 

I’m feeling admiration for a sports talk host? What the shit is going on??

Pitaro was hoisted by his own Le Batard.

So that is why my wife insists on Date Night.

A. I am literally in Humboldt twice a day.

Gay black woman is good, pan sexual Puerto Rican alligator is great.

People get shot all the tiiime.  Hell, a few were shot on the north side where I live.  Ain’t never had a gator in the park tho!

I was going to say exactly this. I’ve been following the updates which for the last week have been “Alligator Bob is still looking for the alligator.” Then this morning the first thing I read is “They got a real gator guy from Florida and he got the gator”. One wonders if Robb is now fucking Bob’s girlfriend as well.

Best part of this whole gator saga was that they initially brought in this dipshit named Alligator Bob who spent a week not being able to catch an Alligator, and the first dude they bring up from Florida catches it in like 20 minutes.

Gotta side with Hailey and the Beebs on this one. Bad form to take a shot at someone for expressing appreciation for your art.

Lapid: “Anything but green.”

on it!

How many kids get to say that happened at their party?

Me: violate me with that scorpion tail, daddy

My wife swears she saw one once on vacation, but I was not there so I can’t confirm it.

If i did not know this was you, i would have asked if this was Ben Shapiro’s kinja account.