“but here he is walking off the field, showing remorse.”

Once I get married, I’ll never have to jerk again. Me at 12. 

Dude cups dude's cup 

Pretty sure he would have missed all of them anyway.

Psst, whatever opinion you want a dentist to have, go to enough dentists and you will find one with that opinion. 

Matthew recommended she see Lions doctors

That seems a little far-fetched. I assume that the caddies at his clubs mostly call him “Cheapskate”, “Fuckface”, “Shitbreath” or “Jesus Fucking Christ fuck that fucking tiny-hands cheating motherfucker.”

“exchanging post-win handshakes”

Professional players wanting to explore “the market” to get maximum money for their talents: traitors.

1. The

That’s like asking what’s the difference between Gabber and Breakcore. 

Marshmello, the first musician to put a concert on in Fortnite, was offended by this blatant act of capitalism.

He’s the antithesis of Brett Gardner.

And it’s $50 if you want to park in the special enclosed garages where fans can turn on the car and asphyxiate themselves after suffering through a Mets game.

Don’t these people know better than to get on a bus with Keanu Reeves? 

So like “The food made me ill but the restroom was clean enough to throw up in.”?

Why are you still doing this? You’re horribly unfunny and not clever. Stop.

The thing is, you can regain your swagger playing Chinese basketball, but you lose all your confidence again an hour later.

I had somehow avoided it my entire life until a month ago when I let my son decide where to eat.  He chose so poorly that he’s not allowed to make any decisions for the rest of the year.