I’m sure Angelo will be happy to hear from your fake fan ass in the morning.

This is the dumbest take possible.  You should be ashamed.

I would happily beat you to death with a beer mug for questioning perfection. 

We all face agonizing decisions in our careers. Just today, my boss told me to either get off Deadspin or find another job.

The man on the left was ordered to pay $84.5 million dollars to business partners he defrauded

MV: “So, what’s your approach to competition?”

David, I expect better. This is cleared JNCO sponsored content disguised as “regular” content, and I resent you not tagging it as such.

Wait till he finds out that the guy fucked his mom too.

Please. You’re going to need a lot more “No Senor’s” than that if you’re ever going to compete with me on Latino speed-dating night.

“No sir! No sir! No sir! No sir! No sir! No sir!”

“A tiny tip can make a difference? Huh. Well, I’ll never know.”

“Everyone knew Joe Montana would eventually have arm issues. And look, he only won Super Bowl MVP three times before he got injured and traded away in favor of a backup. That’s why he went in the third round. Teams know what they are doing...”

Or just maybe include the “mandatory service charge” in the price of the food, instead of lying and manipulating people with false low prices.

No. Their employer is stiffing the staff. Customers should tip, but they are not responsible for complying with labor laws.

The answer to questions like this is always the same:

So eloquent. Much thoughtful. True authentic. 

Ya beat me too it.

My takeaway from this blog is that people call you “Bert”.

“I was elected to lead. Not to read.”