I had been in Guantanamo Bay for six weeks and attended a Hail and Farewell for my command. I got drunk and went home with a doctor. We made out and once in bed he asked in a baby voice “can I put my wiener in your butt?” I had two choices: leave or pretend to be asleep. So the next morning I gathered my clothes and…

I lost my virginity on a one-night stand! I was 22, done with my v-card, and working this weird job than involved a ton of travel and had the happy side of effect of getting to meet a ton of people my age, but generally only for a short bit before we got sent off on different assignments.

The semester I went for study abroad, I ended up living in a house with three Swedish models. Every cliche ensues-they are bitchy, they routinely backstab each other, they’re slobs, none of them are very bright. I am not very attractive and I am very academic-nerdy, and the whole semester unrolls like a terrible…

I met a guy on Campus Kiss, an early 2000s dating site for students. He was originally from the city I was going to school in but lived about two hours away. I lived in shared housing with five other girls and we were all very sex positive and genuinely excited for each other’s experiences, which was cool. I prepared w…

OK I actually did LOL for this.  Fuckin sneaky ass frat boys.  Well budgeted, fellas. 

A few years back I moved to small town in western NY to be closer to family and, bored as hell, started using tinder. At one point I matched with a local librarian close to my age and after chatting for a week she invited me to come over.

Canadians ARE polite folk. 

So, this was actually a good experience overall, but it had a VERY weird moment.

12 years ago I was 1 year out of college and going to a friend from college’s wedding. We were in a sorority together and she was marrying a guy from a fraternity. The reception was full of 21-27 year old current and former sorority and fraternity gals and guys, a Franzia fountain, and several kegs. Decor was folding…

Before, during, or after the deed?

At this point in my life I had moved back to my home city, post university graduation and university boyfriend break up.

I was at a new years party that a friend was hosting. It was a pretty standard nye until right at the end. It’s about 230am, most people have gone. I am pretty wasted, head to the spare bed room to pass out. Not to long after, a girl who was a friend of a friend, comes in, lies down next to me and says “wanna fool…

The writer of “Don’t Breathe” made me watch deleted scenes from the movie.

I just don’t see how Americans can support any government agency whose main weapon and use is to instill fear in a segment of the population.

I literally only know him as the guy who covered a Taylor Swift album. I’m guessing I’m not the only one.

So tired of this dude’s boneless Cabbage Patch face.

Speaking of, I bet Bryan Adams fucking hates this guy

He is a forty-four year old man with bangs in his eyes. Of course he is a tool. That’s tool-hair. Ask around.

I mean Montana itself is a Spanish word.