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The best thing I found is the dry erase marker you use for the white board. Scribble all over the permanent marker with the dry erase and wipe immediately. 

Sir...ma’am, this is a Wendy’s. 

What is a calorie

Who hasn’t yelled ‘pizza’s here’ over your shoulder because you don’t need that judgement from the delivery person that the large is just for you?!

He doesn’t go by Ted Cruz anymore. Ted Cruz is dead. That’s Senator Reek.

It aligns all your maracas when you dry hump it.

While this is ripe territory for being a righteous passive aggressive asshole and I’m a bit for it...

masculinity is a prison and your cousin-in-law is a prison guard

James is wrong. Thank you for coming to my TEA-Talk.

Maybe you should stop writing compliments -- you’re bad at it.

Harry...

Babu Frik, one of my oldest friends, was easily among the best things in the entire ST... 

Skip the Bloody Mary and just order a Bloody Caesar

New houses, in-ground pools, expensive vacations...

Funny how this happens the day after names start dropping. check out what kinda of cars the guards have next week

I could be standing in a bucket of Deet, carrying a burning tire in a snowmobile suit soaked in citronella and they will still attack me in droves, my wife could be beside me naked and nothing. And if I get bitten I get huge welts that itch uncontrollably- my wife nope a little bump and maybe one scratch

Can I give this article a star?

10/10

Large binder clips. They’re cheap to free if you can “borrow” them from work and fill all of the job requirements.

Large binder clips. They’re cheap to free if you can “borrow” them from work and fill all of the job requirements.

Amen. Either your taxes are simple and you should do them yourself, or you have a more complicated situation and should have your taxes done by an actual professional like an accountant. I don’t understand the popularity of TurboTax and the like.

If you can’t afford to tip 20% then you can’t afford to eat out.