The puppy is great, but the best part is that the family didn’t bring him home till a few weeks into the season so they get to keep him for seven years instead of six.

THEY HAVE THE DEAD ANIMALS

The universe is a cold and mostly empty place, and all its movements are guided by nothing more than the indifferent leftover energy of a large explosion, and sometimes that energy randomly sends a speeding baseball directly into your crotch.

What do you call it when you fail to stretch out that easy triple?

+1

Sorry, brah. ‘Fraid that shot’s not going in, brah.

Get out of my room dad.

Don’t forget, Deadspin’s greatest two way threat.

maybe Our Dumb President is right and the Jets really are too complicated to operate

It’s so much better than you think. Also way, way worse.

Oh, hey. It’s Friday and Ley posted and...

(As the Super Bowl comes to an end)

Bills fans this morning are destroying property, calling Brown racial slurs and drunkenly getting into fistfights so, you know, you can just imagine how they’ll react when they hear about this.

UPDATE: The Phillies have traded Harper to the Golden State Warriors, who once blew a 3-1 lead in the NBA Finals.

The arrest was made after Jones tried to flee from IGC Agents Clyde, Pinky, Blinky, and Inky.

IGC agents were “called to investigate a patron for possibly cheating at a table game.” ... The statement didn’t specify which game Jones was playing.

“Nobody believed in us.”

This team really is committed to illegally getting stuff released from their balls.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA

Who has opposable thumbs and enjoys milking nipples all day?